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2013

August 2012

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2013

"accept the unacceptable"

Its a curious and strange sensation, isn't it, to normalize the abnormal, to justify the unjustifiable, and to reason the unreasonable. In my field I have learned everyday to look upon the bizarre behaviors of the folks to whom I provide services as the "norm" and to see momentary periods of clarity as extraordinary.

Even stranger, perhaps, is when you look upon yourself and see your odd, dark, or disruptive ways and apply the same law. It is contradictory to one's understanding of who they are, and makes the person who they present themselves as to others seem like a boldfaced lie.

It's as if I have come to expect everyday an overall alien sensation in my own body. I have come to see the person I am for who I am, and despite the small discrepancies that only know to be true, I have had to learn to be okay with him. I need to squash this idea that if others knew who I was, they would reject me. Call me out for the monster that I am... And yet I feel that way sometimes.

When you see me next, feel free to remind me that I am but one person. One combined person of both goodness and villainy. There are choices everyday that provide me the opportunity to nourish either set of qualities.

Perhaps it is this profoundly secretive and relentless struggle within all of us that defines who we truly are.

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